by James Delrojo
People these days spend a fortune on trying to make themselves attractive. Many of them even go so far as to have cosmetic surgery. A term that has become popular is total makeover, where a person seeks to improve every part of their physical appearance.
If you want to become successful you would be better served by having a charisma makeover than you would be by having a total physical makeover.
Why is charisma important?
Becoming successful always involves other people. Those people may be clients or staff or partners or mentors or your power group or people you network with, but whoever they are, the greater your charisma the easier success will be for you.
Charisma is often believed to be a natural charm that some have and some missed out on but it is not true. Charisma is learned. There are several components that combine together to produce charisma and if you work to improve each of those components your personal charisma will improve substantially.
Let's look at five of the components of charisma.
The Smile
Charismatic people generally smile more often and more genuinely than average people. This smile is not a fake "politician" smile but is a reflection of a warm, positive personality. They are genuinely happy to be alive and they have a positive view on what the world has to offer them.
The Voice
Charismatic people speak with confidence and sincerity. The tone of their voice conveys that inner confidence and inspires others to follow them. Their voice is expressive and their topics of conversation are interesting. People want to listen to charismatic people.
The Body Language
The body language of charismatic people is congruent with what they are saying. If they are talking about happy, joyful feelings they look happy. If they are talking about serious issues they look serious. Their body language always matches and compliments their theme.
Charismatic people are masters of mirroring, matching, pacing and leading. These are body language techniques that help build rapport and then control that rapport so that the other person's sense of comfort is being controlled in such a way that they feel more comfortable when they fall in line with what the charismatic person is proposing.
The Communication Skills
Charismatic people use communication skills so well that other people feel more important or more valuable when they are around the charismatic person.
Charismatic people understand that charisma is all about making the other person feel better, more valuable and happier. They achieve this to the extent that other people start to feel better each time they see the charismatic person, even from a distance.
Much of this is achieved by knowing when and how to listen and when and how to speak. These are skills that can be learned and should be learned by anyone who is serious at becoming successful.
The Passion
Charismatic people are passionate people.
Most people are ordinary. Their lives lack passion and direction. They are going nowhere, living the same year over and over again.
When ordinary people are put together with passionate people who have good communication skills, then the ordinary person gets a lift from the charismatic person's passion and confidence. They feel that by going along for the ride with this person their own dull life will be enhanced and they will be more important.
Charismatic people become the leaders. They set the trends. They have the inspired goals and sense of purpose that others lack.
Spend some time giving yourself a charisma makeover and success will suddenly become a whole lot easier for you.
3.15.2007
3.12.2007
Work on your power of attraction: Creativity
It took me a moment to put that article together, because I was not inspired at all for weeks. I still don't know how to put it together. I guess, if I keep writing I will end up finding the right words.
& this is supposed to be about creativity. I'm a very creative person. I may not always express it, but I know I am! (yeah right! you're struggling to put one article together. come on now!) I know that's what you are thinking.
Well, how would you define creativity? Is it about drawing beautiful things or writing incredible stories? I used to do that a lot when I was in high-school. When I got bored I would just start drawing on the table. Then of course, when I was caught I had to come on saturday morning to clean all the tables of the classroom. My mother never found out about my advisor-order community services because I had the good explanation for getting up early few saturdays per month.
I can't lie, but I could make you believe whatever I want, if my life depended on it. It's a survival reflex.
My definition of creativity is the ability to find a solution to any kind of problem very quickly or the ability to visualize things in 3D in your mind easily.
You are creative. Don't think that just because your entourage is not complimenting you on the things you call painting that you are not creative.
Creativity is within all of us. All you have to do to experience this creativity is to think more often out of the box. Look for answers where nobody goes. Think theorically & be playful. Be unique, be a child, be curious!
Think about it. People are always seduced by playful minds. If you are creative enough, your entourage will always expect unpredictable ideas from you. They will enjoy your discussions, because you have a different way of interpreting events.
I have to work on everything but creativity to become magnetic. I enjoy seeing the reaction of people when they just meet me & I love hearing that I am different from most of the girls of my age.
You too, work on becoming unique & creative. Don't be afraid to be a child sometimes.
You can excercise yourself by finding explanations to current events. Forget about everything the medias are saying & find your own explanation.
Have fun :)
& this is supposed to be about creativity. I'm a very creative person. I may not always express it, but I know I am! (yeah right! you're struggling to put one article together. come on now!) I know that's what you are thinking.
Well, how would you define creativity? Is it about drawing beautiful things or writing incredible stories? I used to do that a lot when I was in high-school. When I got bored I would just start drawing on the table. Then of course, when I was caught I had to come on saturday morning to clean all the tables of the classroom. My mother never found out about my advisor-order community services because I had the good explanation for getting up early few saturdays per month.
I can't lie, but I could make you believe whatever I want, if my life depended on it. It's a survival reflex.
My definition of creativity is the ability to find a solution to any kind of problem very quickly or the ability to visualize things in 3D in your mind easily.
You are creative. Don't think that just because your entourage is not complimenting you on the things you call painting that you are not creative.
Creativity is within all of us. All you have to do to experience this creativity is to think more often out of the box. Look for answers where nobody goes. Think theorically & be playful. Be unique, be a child, be curious!
Think about it. People are always seduced by playful minds. If you are creative enough, your entourage will always expect unpredictable ideas from you. They will enjoy your discussions, because you have a different way of interpreting events.
I have to work on everything but creativity to become magnetic. I enjoy seeing the reaction of people when they just meet me & I love hearing that I am different from most of the girls of my age.
You too, work on becoming unique & creative. Don't be afraid to be a child sometimes.
You can excercise yourself by finding explanations to current events. Forget about everything the medias are saying & find your own explanation.
Have fun :)
3.04.2007
Master Procrastination
by Paul A. Douglas, Ph.D.
Time management consultant R.Alec MacKenzie, has suggested that of all management ills, procrastination looms as the most obvious and readily admitted. This time management problem affects us all to a greater or lesser degree. However, some people are more affected than others. We often joke about our procrastinating habit, but it is really not a joking matter. Relationships have failed because of procrastination, organizations have folded because of it and people have died as a result of it.
What is procrastination?
Procrastination is doing the urgent rather than the important.
Procrastination is watching television when you should be exercising.
Procrastination is enjoying a long lunch, when things are stacked up back at the office.
Procrastination is avoiding a person rather than facing them and solving a problem.
Procrastination is putting off that activity with your children because you have more important things to do.
There are really four reasons why we procrastinate, the task is unpleasant, the task is overwhelming, the task requires a decision and involves risk and the task is perceived, rightly or wrongly, as being of low priority.
To conquer procrastination we must overcome our inertia, that is our tendency to resist taking action. From physics we learn that a body remains at rest unless and until a force is exerted against it. As well from physics we learn that it always takes less effort to sustain movement once inertia has been overcome. Below are some suggestions that may help you to deal more effectively with procrastination:
1. Set a deadline. A deadline gives a sense of urgency to a task. It also provides structure. We tend to move more quickly to accomplish a task when a deadline is set. Challenge yourself to accomplish a particular task within a given time frame, "I will have this task finished by Friday noon."
2. Reward yourself for accomplishment. When you have completed that unpleasant task within the time frame you have established, reward yourself for that job well done. It may mean simply enjoying a soda or going for a walk or taking a relaxing moment to do something you enjoy. This positive self- stroking will help reinforce your new behavior.
3. Do the most unpleasant thing first. Your mother was right when she insisted you eat your spinach first. If you will attack the most unpleasant part of the task first, the rest will be downhill.
4. Break the object of your procrastination down into smaller units. This is what Allan Lakein calls in his book - How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, the "Swiss cheese" method. He says treat that large and overwhelming task like a block of Swiss cheese, by gnawing a hole here and gnawing a hole there, before you know it, you have reduced it to a size where you can gobble it all up. The accomplishment of great things always comes from the accomplishment of many, many small things. Most of us approach our work in a different way. We pull that enormous task out of our in-basket, recognize the scope and magnitude of the task and shove it back in the pile, leaving it in abeyance while we do something that is quick, fun and easy. For this reason I instruct people as they use their date book organizers, not to write anything on their prioritized daily "to do" list which will take them more than an hour. If it will take more than an hour it should be entered as two or more individual tasks. If for example, it is going to take you five hours to do a personnel planning report, it would be best to enter this on your list as a number of individual tasks, probably over a number of days, such as:
Gather required documentation
Prepare the outline
Write the objectives, etc.
Tasks are overwhelming because of their size, their complexity or the amount of time involved in their completion. By breaking down a task into sub-units, we provide for ourselves structure, and we reduce complexity.
5. Make a commitment to strengthen your resolve. Let other people know about your deadline and commitment. We may frequently break commitments we make to ourselves but we are far less likely to break commitments that we make or share with other people. It can be painful and embarrassing to have to admit to others that we have failed. Organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous, or Weight Watchers or a myriad of other highly successful self-help groups have recognized this principle. By making a public commitment you are less likely to procrastinate; so make a commitment to your boss, your spouse or friend.
Take some time to analyze your procrastinating habit. Ask yourself the following six questions:
1. What things do I tend to put off most often?
2. What am I putting off right now?
3. How do I feel about my procrastination habit?
4. What has my procrastination cost me?
5. What do I feel is the cause of most of my procrastination?
6. What can I do to overcome my procrastination?
If you can master your procrastination you have gone a long way toward the management of your time, for contrary to conventional wisdom, it is the internal time wasters - our inability to say no, our own personal lack of organization and our procrastinating habit that are our greatest time thieves. The steps I have outlined above will help you to overcome your inertia and gain greater control of yourself, your time and your life.
Time management consultant R.Alec MacKenzie, has suggested that of all management ills, procrastination looms as the most obvious and readily admitted. This time management problem affects us all to a greater or lesser degree. However, some people are more affected than others. We often joke about our procrastinating habit, but it is really not a joking matter. Relationships have failed because of procrastination, organizations have folded because of it and people have died as a result of it.
What is procrastination?
Procrastination is doing the urgent rather than the important.
Procrastination is watching television when you should be exercising.
Procrastination is enjoying a long lunch, when things are stacked up back at the office.
Procrastination is avoiding a person rather than facing them and solving a problem.
Procrastination is putting off that activity with your children because you have more important things to do.
There are really four reasons why we procrastinate, the task is unpleasant, the task is overwhelming, the task requires a decision and involves risk and the task is perceived, rightly or wrongly, as being of low priority.
To conquer procrastination we must overcome our inertia, that is our tendency to resist taking action. From physics we learn that a body remains at rest unless and until a force is exerted against it. As well from physics we learn that it always takes less effort to sustain movement once inertia has been overcome. Below are some suggestions that may help you to deal more effectively with procrastination:
1. Set a deadline. A deadline gives a sense of urgency to a task. It also provides structure. We tend to move more quickly to accomplish a task when a deadline is set. Challenge yourself to accomplish a particular task within a given time frame, "I will have this task finished by Friday noon."
2. Reward yourself for accomplishment. When you have completed that unpleasant task within the time frame you have established, reward yourself for that job well done. It may mean simply enjoying a soda or going for a walk or taking a relaxing moment to do something you enjoy. This positive self- stroking will help reinforce your new behavior.
3. Do the most unpleasant thing first. Your mother was right when she insisted you eat your spinach first. If you will attack the most unpleasant part of the task first, the rest will be downhill.
4. Break the object of your procrastination down into smaller units. This is what Allan Lakein calls in his book - How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, the "Swiss cheese" method. He says treat that large and overwhelming task like a block of Swiss cheese, by gnawing a hole here and gnawing a hole there, before you know it, you have reduced it to a size where you can gobble it all up. The accomplishment of great things always comes from the accomplishment of many, many small things. Most of us approach our work in a different way. We pull that enormous task out of our in-basket, recognize the scope and magnitude of the task and shove it back in the pile, leaving it in abeyance while we do something that is quick, fun and easy. For this reason I instruct people as they use their date book organizers, not to write anything on their prioritized daily "to do" list which will take them more than an hour. If it will take more than an hour it should be entered as two or more individual tasks. If for example, it is going to take you five hours to do a personnel planning report, it would be best to enter this on your list as a number of individual tasks, probably over a number of days, such as:
Gather required documentation
Prepare the outline
Write the objectives, etc.
Tasks are overwhelming because of their size, their complexity or the amount of time involved in their completion. By breaking down a task into sub-units, we provide for ourselves structure, and we reduce complexity.
5. Make a commitment to strengthen your resolve. Let other people know about your deadline and commitment. We may frequently break commitments we make to ourselves but we are far less likely to break commitments that we make or share with other people. It can be painful and embarrassing to have to admit to others that we have failed. Organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous, or Weight Watchers or a myriad of other highly successful self-help groups have recognized this principle. By making a public commitment you are less likely to procrastinate; so make a commitment to your boss, your spouse or friend.
Take some time to analyze your procrastinating habit. Ask yourself the following six questions:
1. What things do I tend to put off most often?
2. What am I putting off right now?
3. How do I feel about my procrastination habit?
4. What has my procrastination cost me?
5. What do I feel is the cause of most of my procrastination?
6. What can I do to overcome my procrastination?
If you can master your procrastination you have gone a long way toward the management of your time, for contrary to conventional wisdom, it is the internal time wasters - our inability to say no, our own personal lack of organization and our procrastinating habit that are our greatest time thieves. The steps I have outlined above will help you to overcome your inertia and gain greater control of yourself, your time and your life.
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